Seduction Explorer Guide by Carlo della Torre
Carlo della Torre on Icelandic TV In the heart of Reykjavik In the Artist's cafe Miss Iceland in the supermarket In the hot waters of Blue Lagoon In Reykjavik, you never know when it's going to rain Kristin Kristmansdottir in the oldest house in Iceland	Iceland Preface The first Seduction Explorer Guide is dedicated to Iceland for a variety of reasons. Iceland is one of the world's final frontiers, as yet uninvaded by hordes of tourists and known to its few visitors for its glaciers, volcanoes, geysers, and Martian-like countryside. But Iceland's socio-cultural reality and its soul (more Martian than the countryside itself) are totally unknown. In addition, Iceland has earned the right to first place in our guide because the world press has discovered the country and dedicated a lot of space to it, frequently proclaiming it to be the latest New Age destination. But parachute journalists, while describing the usual natural beauties and copying the list of nightspots helpfully provided by the local Tourist Office, haven't succeeded in conveying even the vaguest idea of how Icelanders really think and live. In its March 1998 edition, the Italian monthly magazine Gulliver ran a special report entitled "Boiling glacier in the city of love," going so far as to call Reykjavik "the new capital of eroticism," and even implying that Icelandic girls are quite easy and on the lookout for foreigners. "Offer a drink to a girl and she won't turn you down," writes the author of the article, Francesca Reboli, who (I have to imagine) was not writing from personal experience. What I'm certain of, however, since I was an eyewitness at the time, is that she caused many so-called Latin lovers to make a beeline for Reykjavik. I know that they came back disappointed and beaten (Iceland's cost of living is among the highest in the world), thanks to information freely dispensed by their favorite monthly. Playboy, in its August 1998 American edition, published a long, lavishly illustrated report on Icelandic girls and even this highly influential monthly wrote a bunch of nonsense for the purpose of highlighting the photos of the girls. I can assure you, however, that the photos needed no commentary in order to attract the reader's attention. According to Playboy, for example, my friend Thora Dunkel (a famous Icelandic actress) says she loves to eat a particular part of the frog (an old Icelandic tradition). Her comment to me was that she told Playboy in no uncertain terms that it's a disgusting practice. I discovered at least five other pieces of nonsense in the Playboy article from as many other friends photographed. If even Playboy is 50% nonsense, we have to be very careful about trusting the media as a source of information for our travels. And what can we say when Newsweek, no less authoritative, ranks this very cold and quiet town bordering on the North Pole, populated by 100,000 inhabitants who go out only on the weekends, as one of the 10 most exciting cities in the world! I lived for three months in Reykjavik (during three one-month visits) and was interviewed twice, as someone deeply familiar with the Icelandic people, for the country's most-watched TV show "Island y Dag" (Iceland Today). I made friends with many Icelandic women, among the most beautiful girls in the world, and I even have a few male friends there. Thanks to them, I discovered the real Iceland: a country of contrasts, contradictions, and records. A night in Reykjavik Iceland, a country of about 270,000 inhabitants, already has three Miss Universes (one for every 90,000 people)! But don't get too excited just yet, because there are more men than there are women in the country (even if only by a small margin) and Icelandic men are very jealous of their women. They're a bit like the Sicilians in Italy, with whom they have in common an island mentality (except that the Icelandics don't go around shooting people). When the Icelandic men get drunk (which happens only Friday and Saturday nights), they will put up with their women's flirtations with visiting Latins. The latter, poor fools (having read all about the availability of Icelandic women in some article back home), realize all too late that they've misinterpreted the women's real sentiments, only to end up empty-handed when the night is through. Statistically speaking, Iceland holds the world record for illegitimate children. Don't get carried away by your emotions here either, however: In the Icelandic mentality, having a child is the same as being married or living together, so the number of illegitimate children conceived under the influence of an unending stream of vodka are few indeed. Iceland is a matriarchy. The women rule the family, Reykjavik's mayor is a woman, the country's ex-president is a woman, and there is a women's political party. All the women work and they are free and liberated. Once again, however, don't get too excited: The Icelandic woman is very faithful. Usually she finds a boyfriend before the age of 18 and she rarely gives him up for another one until she's had her first baby. After that ... well, we'll get to that shortly. Icelandic girls can be very shy, but are still kind and friendly - during the week, because they were brought up that way; on the weekends, when they're drinking, because they want to have fun. When an Icelandic girl has a one-night stand with a foreigner, all of Reykjavik knows about it (we're talking about one of the most gossip-inclined cities in the world). As a consequence, she might not find her Viking true love. Imagine what would happen in the other towns which, except for Akurery (15,000 inhabitants), number only a few thousand people! I remember when the NATO fleet came to Reykjavik in the summer of 1997. Admirals from many countries walked around the city personally inviting hundreds of beautiful Viking women to a gala night on their ships. Everybody was saying that many babies of mixed blood would be conceived that evening. I bet against the Icelandic people themselves, however, that the visiting naval officers would be disappointed. The next morning, DV, the leading daily, published a color photo across the front page of the two - that's two - girls holding glasses in their hands, the only ones who went on the ships, just long enough to wet their parched throats. I do not know if these poor girls ended up finding a husband, because I don't know them. Of course, the superficial impression you will get when exploring the city on Friday and Saturday night will be completely different. Girls will approach you at every street corner and invite you to come with them to a pub or to a disco. They'll even "force" you to have a drink and dance with them. (But I warn you, it's all a sham.) And all this happens thanks to the power of alcohol. When they've drunk too much (which here, mind you, takes a lot of doing!), sometimes the invitation comes along that you were waiting for. If you have any sense of decency, you will probably turn down. If you don't have any sense of decency, you must take another little trap into account: Icelandic women go around in pairs. One drinks and the other keeps an eye on things to make sure the situation doesn't get out of hand. If you still want to take advantage of the drinking culture, you must learn to recognize the girls who fake being drunk; they're good actresses, by the way, because in this part of the world the person who doesn't drink is "out." If you still want some action and don't mind the quality, you probably will have an opportunity to meet someone in the discos, where country girls go to meet the American sailors. Iceland hosts an American base, though the Americans are not considered very fashionable. The best-known disco is Piano and is situated in the heart of the downtown. If, on the other hand, you opt for quality without results, stick around the downtown for the closing of the discos and clubs. At that point everyone moves to Austurstreti, the main street in the city center, where the nightlife continues. The street itself becomes a crowded club where you can drink and have fun till the early morning. The show is really interesting. The girls are always gorgeous and very young. Icelandic beauty starts to fade when the women get a bit older. The cold wind that dries their skin, the sunlamps that age them (Icelandic women are tanned all year round), the fatty high-calorie (but healthy) diet, and Iceland's world record in the consumption of sugar all contribute to the ruin of some of the world's most beautiful and most long-lived women, from the waist down. If things didn't turn out they way you had planned, you may be tempted to give in and finish the night off in a strip joint (a new addition in the last few years). Be aware, however, that this involves only striptease and nothing more, erotic dancing in private rooms (US$50 per song) and nothing more. The owner of the most famous erotic club (ODAL in Austurstreti street downtown) is a friend of mine. Her name is Inga. She is about 30 years of age, lived several years in Italy, was married to an Italian, speaks the local dialect of Bologna, and runs a security and spying network that, in its own small way, rivals the CIA. Nothing happens inside or outside of the club that she doesn't know about, and nothing happens because any "extra" is prohibited by Icelandic law, which is strictly enforced. Forget about turning to the world's oldest profession: Iceland is perhaps the only country in the world where no living example of this profession is to be found. Your night out here has its positive side, however: You can go walking around town alone all night long, your pockets stuffed with cash, in complete safety. The only known crime occurred many years ago. A bank was robbed by a man who threatened the bank teller with his fist! The thief was never caught. Just hope that he hasn't spent all the money and continue your calm walk in the dark. Soon dawn will break. The dawn of Reykjavik. (To be continued) In the next installment, I will give you more details about the lifestyle and places to stay, to eat, to shop, and to enjoy yourself.