Romances from "Don Juan" by George Gordon lord Byron

... His classic studies made a little puzzle, Because of filthy loves of gods and goddesses, Who in earlier ages made a bustle, But never put on pantaloons or bodices; His reverend tutors had at time a tussle, And for their Aeneids, Iliads, and Odysseys, Were forced to make an odd sort of apology For Donna Inez dreaded the mythology. Ovid’ s a rake, as half his verses show him, Anacreon’s morals are a still worse sample, Catullus scarcely has a decent poem, I don’t think Sapph’s Ode a good example, Although Longinus tells us there is no hymm Where the sublime soars forth on wings more ample; But Virgil’ songs are pure, except that horrid one Beginning with “Formosum Pastor Corydon”. Lucretius’ irreligion is too strong For early stomachs, to prove wholesome food; I can’t help thinking Juvenal was wrong, Although no doubt his real intent was good, For speaking out so plainly in his song, So much indeed as to be downright rude; And then what proper person can be partial To all those nauseous epigrams of Martial? Juan was taught from out the best edition, Expurgated by learned men, who place, Judiciously, from out the schoolboy’s vision, The grosser parts; but fearful to deface Too much their modest bard by this ommission, And pitying sore his mutilated case, They only add them all in an appendix, Which saves, in fact, the trouble of an index; For there we have them all at one feel swoop, Instead of being scatter’d through the pages; They stand forth marshall’d in an handsome troop, To meet the ingenous youth of future ages, Till some less rigid editor shall stoop To call them back into their separate cages, Instead of standing staring altogether, Like garden gods-and not so decent either. The Missal too (it was the family missal) Was ornamented in a sort of way Which ancient mass-book often are, and this all Kinds os grotesques illumined; and how they, Who saw those figures on the margin kiss all, Could their optics to the next and pray Is more than I know-but Don Juan’s mother Kept this herself, and gave her son another. Sermons he read, and lectures he endured, And homilies, and lives of all the saints; To Jerome and to Chrysostom inured, He did not take such studies for restraints; But how faith is acquired, and then insured, So well not one of the aforesaid paints As Saint Augustine in his fine Confessions, Which make the reader envy his trasgressions. This, too, was a seal’d book to little Juan- I can’t but say that his mamma was right, If such an education was the true one. She scarsely trusted him from out her sight; Her maids were old, and if she took a new one You might be sure she was a perfect fright, She did this during even her husband’s life- I recommend as much to every wife. ...